


Shopping Trip

by Fig Newton (sg_fignewton)



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Action/Adventure, Caper Fic, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Mythology - Freeform, teamy goodness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 03:47:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10845852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sg_fignewton/pseuds/Fig%20Newton
Summary: Jacob and Selmac take SG-1 on an off-world shopping trip with a stolen Goa'uld credit card. The results, naturally, are par for the course. Team fun in the wake ofSeth.





	Shopping Trip

**Author's Note:**

  * For [knightshade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightshade/gifts).



> Originally written in November 2007 for the sg1teamficathon for knightshade, who wanted a moment of camaraderie between Daniel and Teal'c (in and amongst the teamy goodness), Jacob Carter, and a puzzle or mystery, and didn't want the Asgard, Jonas, or Jaffa Nation politics.
> 
> There are plenty of episode references in this, and some off-screen harassment by Jaffa.

As the trap door swung back into place, three people rolled down the steep stone slide in a graceless tumble of flailing limbs. Pained grunts and muffled yells echoed in the clammy darkness.

They spilled into an open space and slid to an ungainly, bruising halt. The sudden rumble and thud suggested that the ramp had been neatly closed off, blocking any hope of escape. A numb silence settled over them, broken only by their panting breaths.

"Everyone okay?" Jack snapped.

"I'm all right, sir," Sam's voice replied, still a little breathless. "Dad?"

"I'm fine. _We're_ fine." Jacob's tone was weighted with disgust. 

There was a somewhat embarrassing scramble as the three of them untangled themselves as best as they could in the pitch blackness. Then Jacob's voice came again.

"I've got a light here. Hold on."

Sam and Jack clapped their hands over their eyes just in time to avoid the agony as a small, sharp beam of light suddenly stabbed through the dark. Jack squinted through his fingers and saw, to his annoyance, that Jacob's eyes had apparently already adjusted. _Cheater._

He followed the sweep of the penlight as Jacob played it along the walls of their new prison. The room was perhaps six feet square, composed of blocks of roughly-hewed stone. At least they would have enough air to breathe for a while, as the ceiling was easily ten feet high. Getting out, though, was definitely going to be a problem. There was a smoother slab of rock that marked their entry point, and a second, similar slab almost directly opposite it; but there were no panels, no levers, not even a door handle. For the time being, the three of them were definitely trapped.

He winced as the light swung around to shine directly in his eyes. "Couldn't you have just stayed still, Colonel?" Jacob snapped.

"If certain people had _mentioned_ that the place was boobytrapped, I might have!" 

"You saw what Sefik did! The warnings were right there on the wall!"

"Would that be warnings written in _Goa'uld_ , by any chance?" Jack batted the penlight away. "C'mon, Jacob. Teal'c and Daniel will get us out. How bad can this be?"

"How bad can this...?" Jacob's face twisted with frustration. "Colonel, it'll take an hour, maybe more, before Teal'c and Daniel get back. And they'll probably go back to the rooms, not the demonstration areas. They'll have no idea what happened to us!"

"And since _you_ wouldn't let us take any equipment - including our radios - we can't call for help," Jack said sweetly. "I'm surprised Selmac let you get away with taking that penlight along."

"It's actually disguised as a - _that's not the point_!" Jacob's left hand clenched into a fist. "Of all the -" He stopped short and looked at Sam, clamping his teeth on his lower lip. "This is the most -" Once again, he bit the words back.

"Don't stop on my account, Dad," Sam said, her own teeth fixed in a forced smile. "It's not as if I haven't heard it all before. Or used it myself," she added pointedly.

"I doubt that," Selmac replied unexpectedly. "I find your planet's epithets to be sadly lacking in imagination." 

Jack sat up, his interest piqued. "Oh, really?"

"To be fair, I have had hosts from many different cultures and planets, which allows me to refine my choices considerably." He paused for a moment, and a bemused look settled on Jacob's features. "Jacob's interest in expanding his vocabulary still surprises me," he said thoughtfully. "I will cede back control, if you would like to hear him exercise -" 

"Daniel would never forgive us if we got to listen to a whole bunch of Tok'ra swear words without him," Jack said, brushing himself off. He gave Jacob his most wicked grin and settled more comfortably against the wall. "So let's have 'em."

A good round of cursing, he decided, would sum up the whole mess quite nicely.

* * *

The mission had first made Jack's hackles rise when Selmac and Jacob initially proposed it, three days ago. Slightly risky, he told them, but with the chance to get good intel. Hammond had been cautiously optimistic while Jacob explained, but Jack's instincts kept sniggering that _nothing_ was ever that simple.

"Thoth isn't quite up to the status of the System Lords," Jacob began, "but he has carved a nice little niche for himself out there. For one thing, he can offer the other Goa'uld something they don't have: literate servants."

"Whoa!" Sam said, startled. "I know Ra outlawed reading and writing on Abydos, but I didn't know they _all_ did that!"

"Most do, Captain Carter," Teal'c told her gravely. "I myself was not taught to read and write until after I came under Master Bra'tac's tutelage. On Chulak, only the priests and the more elite Jaffa are educated. Human slaves remain ignorant, with little chance to learn enough to rebel against their Goa'uld masters."

"So Thoth supplies them with scribes that can read?" Hammond frowned and turned to his resident mythology expert. "Doctor Jackson?" 

"That makes sense," Daniel said, nodding. "Thoth, or Djeheuty, was a mediator and scholar. He was supposed to have created the first hieroglyphics, the solar calendar..." He paused. "The creator of magic. Huh."

"Abracadabra?" Jack suggested brightly.

Daniel shot him one of his best glares. Jack just shrugged.

"You think he might have invented some of the Goa'uld technology?" Sam asked, ignoring the byplay with the ease of long practice.

"It's hard to say," Daniel said judiciously. "We know they steal most of what they use, right?" He looked at Jacob for confirmation.

Jacob's head dipped, and Selmac replied. "Most of the technology used by the Goa'uld is cannibalized from other sources," he clarified. "It is, in fact, quite possible that their original functions were entirely different from how the Goa'uld use them. We do know that Thoth was responsible for refining much of the technology currently in use. He did quite a bit work for Ra on a personal basis, and he continues to modify current technology to this day."

"Does that mean we might find weapons or other cool stuff?" Jack leaned forward, seriously interested for the first time.

Selmac held up a warning hand. "This will be an _undercover_ mission, Colonel," he stressed. "I know that the SG teams are accustomed to traveling in uniform, but you will need to be incognito for this trip - and to stay in character at all times. Consider this a fact-finding mission only, please. Perhaps the intelligence we gather will enable us to plan a raid at some future date."

Jack slumped back in his chair, disappointed.

Jacob's head bowed again, and Selmac withdrew. "Of course, we _might_ actually find ourselves having to do a little actual shopping," Jacob added. "I doubt it, but it's always possible. It depends what's currently available. Let's look at it as a last resort."

"Do you mean we'd actually _buy_ Thoth's latest doodad?" Jack sat up again. "A little lame, don't you think?"

"A lot expensive," Jacob corrected, making a face. "Thoth charges outrageously high prices. Payment is usually through a kind of letter of credit - a crystal, actually, which is impossible to forge. And quite frankly, the Tok'ra don't have all that much spare cash lying around."

"So if it's so impossible to forge, how can the Tok'ra have any?" Jack pressed. "I can't imagine you'd have your bills sent to your super-secret base address."

"Hm, not exactly." Jacob looked a bit uncomfortable for the first time. "On my last mission before coming to Earth, Selmac and I infiltrated one of Heru'ur's treasuries. We, ah, swiped a credit crystal."

"Why, Jacob!" Jack crowed, his face lighting up. "I didn't know you had it in you!"

Jacob gave him a look that Jack recognized from long experience with his daughter, only without the hint of respect that Sam had to include. "Think of it like a stolen credit card that hasn't been reported," he continued. "The chance of the actual loss being discovered is minute, but if we _do_ use it, word will get back to Heru'ur pretty quickly. So yes, we'll have some credit along, but I'd rather not use it. Once we do, we'll be on the clock; we'll have to get off Thoth's planet in a hurry, before our cover is blown. Hopefully, we can get the information we want without actually having to pay for it."

"How do you plan to do that?" General Hammond asked, frowning.

Jacob retreated to allow Selmac to explain more fully. "Since the System Lords prefer to keep their own subjects ignorant, they come to Thoth to purchase slaves that can serve as scribes, or to have their personal favorites educated by the local instructors in reading, writing, or handling Goa'uld technology. This means that SG-1 can move around with relative freedom - as long as we don't attract undue attention to ourselves. Humans are sometimes searched without warning, so we must be sure that we carry nothing that suggests you are actually Tau'ri."

"Why?" Daniel wondered. "If Thoth is worried about infiltration, human slaves wouldn't be the ones carrying weapons or -"

"It's not something actually sanctioned by Thoth, Doctor Jackson," Selmac said. "It's Thoth's Jaffa, who see enough of the world outside their master's domain to resent the deference they are required to give to Thoth's scholars." He blinked for a moment, then added, "Jacob calls it 'petty payback.' I'm afraid that means that it is a completely random event, although unusual behavior might very well put us at greater risk. That is why I stress that it is imperative that your disguises be completely accurate."

"If we risk inspection, will not my tattoo put us in danger?" Teal'c asked calmly.

"You can play the part of a Jaffa, Teal'c," Selmac assured him. "I would pose as a low-level Goa'uld, accompanied by a single guard and several human slaves. You would have to wear full armor at all times, I'm afraid." A rueful smile twisted Jacob's lips. "The face of Teal'c, the _sholva,_ is rather well known."

"And ours aren't?" Jack sounded a little insulted.

"Doctor Jackson's altered appearance is actually quite helpful," Selmac declared, causing Daniel to start in surprise. "With the short haircut, and without the glasses, he looks very different from any of the images that have circulated among the System Lords. It might be wise, perhaps, if Doctor Jackson serves as the main spokesman for the humans, to avoid drawing attention to the others."

"That will probably be necessary anyway," Sam said a little ruefully. "Neither the colonel nor I can speak Goa'uld."

"I imagine multiple languages are used on Thoth's planet," Daniel pointed out. "But if Selmac thinks I should take point..." He shrugged. "I don't have a problem with that. And it'll be interesting to see how Thoth trains his people."

Hammond narrowed his eyes in thought. "Let me get this straight, Selmac. You want to take SG-1 through the Stargate to a hostile planet, disguised as a Goa'uld with a Jaffa bodyguard and three human slaves? And without weapons or any other technology?"

" _And_ with the possibility of being rumbled for credit card theft?" Jack added.

"Thoth encourages visitors, General Hammond," Selmac said. "He thrives on trade in scholarship, knowledge, human traffic, and upgraded technology. As long as we act the part, there should be very little risk. And Teal'c, at least, will be able to carry his staff weapon." He paused, then added, "I will also carry a ribbon device. And -" He stopped again and looked at Sam.

Sam swallowed, but lifted her chin. "I can use the hand device if it becomes necessary, General," she said steadily.

"So what do we get out of this whole mission, especially if we don't really plan to do any serious shopping?" asked Jack, drumming a restless tattoo on the table with a pencil. "And - no offense, Selmac - but what do _you_ get out of it?"

Selmac's eyes flashed, but it was Jacob who replied. "It gives the SGC a little more intel on the state of things out there, Colonel. Thoth has a finger on the pulse of most of what's happening in the galaxy. This is a chance for a low-profile reconnaissance mission. As for what the Tok'ra get out of it... Two things, really. Officially, it's to give us a chance to infiltrate Thoth's workshops and see what he's currently offering. And it'll be pretty useful if Doctor Jackson can compare the various scripts Thoth uses to the languages here on Earth, so that we know what we can identify more easily in the future."

"And unofficially?" Hammond prompted.

Jacob grinned. "Unofficially? Selmac likes you guys. We've worked together here in the SGC, and we're worked together here on-world. We seem to make a pretty good team. Selmac wants a chance to play with you off-planet."

General Hammond couldn't quite hide his returning smile. "All right, SG-1," he said. "You have a go."

There was still some desultory arguing on Jack's part when Jacob supervised their preparations. No weapons, no radios, no tape recorders or cameras, no eyeglasses for Daniel - even ballpoint pens and spiral-bound notebooks were verboten. Daniel was permitted to wear contact lenses, which would hardly be noticed unless they actually fell out. GDOs were too dangerous, so they planned to go home via the Alpha Site, after some random planet-hopping to avoid leading Thoth to the base. Sam did manage to rig Jacob's ribbon device to deliver a one-time burst that would transmit their codes to get back to the SGC - just in case.

They selected simple, homespun robes from the racks of off-world clothing that the SGC had acquired over the years. Sam wasn't sure who was more embarrassed - herself or her father - when Selmac took over at one point and calmly instructed her not to wear her regular sports bra. And Jack nearly trashed the entire mission when Daniel took him aside to instruct him on the art of making secure loincloths out of cotton strips.

"You can't tell me that my _boxers_ are a security risk!" he bellowed. "Exactly what kind of search techniques are you expecting, Jacob?"

"Grow up, Colonel," Jacob told him impatiently. "Daniel managed for months on Abydos. You can survive for a day or two. Are your Fruit of the Looms worth possibly compromising your team?"

Jack retreated into the showers, muttering imprecations under his breath.

Finally, they gathered in the Gateroom, waiting as the technician called off the chevrons. Teal'c, the only one properly armed, looked uncomfortable in his Horus guard armor, one of several that they'd retrieved from Hathor's stronghold after her death. Jacob had discarded his usual subdued Tok'ra outfit for something impractical and gaudy. And Sam, Jack, and Daniel couldn't help sneaking peeks at each other and snickering; the resemblance to the robes that they'd worn as Seth's disciples was uncanny, even if the quality of the fabric didn't match.

"So," Jack said conversationally, as they watched the fifth chevron lock into place, "Thoth invented 'magic,' huh?"

"Magic and philosophy," Daniel replied absently, "as well as -" He did a double-take and turned to stare at Jack. "You were _listening_?"

"I listen sometimes," Jack said, looking a little defensive. "Once a week, at least."

Sam rolled her eyes and placed a warning hand on Daniel's arm. "He just wants you to feed him the right line, Daniel," she cautioned him.

Daniel frowned at her, then groaned as understanding dawned. "Don't you _dare_ , Jack," he growled.

"Of what do you speak?" Teal'c asked as the wormhole exploded outward. He prudently closed his helmet as they prepared to depart.

In reply, Jack gestured grandly at the now shimmering event horizon. "Let's go, people!" he sang out. He grinned cheekily at Sam and Daniel before adding triumphantly, "We're off to see the wizard!"

* * *

Thoth's Stargate was located in a vast, soaring atrium of red-veined marble and stained glass. Golden velvet ropes, looped through intricately carved crystal pillars, directed them towards the robed officials waiting for them. As they moved forward, a phlanged voice boomed over some kind of loudspeaker system. Jack glanced at Daniel, who gave a one-sided shrug and said quietly, "Basically, they asked someone named Potif to meet his party at the front desk."

Jack shook his head. If he ignored the typically grandiose Goa'uld décor, the glimpse of the greenish sun hovering overhead, and the Jaffa guards serving as low-key security, the resemblance to an airport was downright eerie.

They had to undergo a formal processing procedure, which had Jack muttering under his breath about "passport lines" and the universal constant of bureaucracy. Selmac identified himself as an agent of Heru'ur, sent to examine Thoth's latest upgrades in technology. Jacob was treated with fawning deference; Teal'c, menacingly anonymous in the Horus guard armor that lent credence to Selmac's claim, got wary respect. Sam, Jack, and Daniel, however, were a little discomfited to find themselves addressed as if they were rather slow-witted five-year-olds.

"You'll have to prove yourselves," Jacob muttered as they followed an overdressed official through an elegant hallway, decorated with mosaics of crystal and semi-precious stones. "As soon as they see that you're not completely ignorant, they'll address you more or less as equals."

"At least English is in use here," Jack muttered back. Before that detail had been confirmed, he'd been worried that he and Sam were going to have to muzzle themselves for the duration in order to avoid giving themselves away.

Without looking, he reached out an arm and snagged Daniel's sleeve in passing, pulling him away from the mural he'd been studying with reverent fingers.

"But I was just going to -" Daniel protested.

"Daniel," Jack said warningly.

"Jack!"

_"Daniel."_

Daniel sighed and swung back into position. "Okay, okay," he groused. 

Once they had settled in the rooms allocated for them - opulent and gaudy for Jacob, and plain and non-descript for the others - they split up into groups for the remainder of the day. They had some six hours before nightfall to see what they could accomplish. 

That evening, they gathered in Jacob's room to pool information - and food - and discuss what to do next. Daniel had procured a tangy meat concoction wrapped in leaves; Teal'c had stopped by the local barracks and obtained some rather tasty flatbreads from his fellow Jaffa warriors. Jack had snagged a half-dozen apples - or, at least, the local equivalent, which were grapefruit-sized and slightly purple. Sam contributed a cloth sack filled with roasted, sweetened grains, and Jacob waved a tired hand at the eight crystal bottles of wine that he'd been given over the course of the day.

"No one is going to offer a Goa'uld _real_ food," Jacob grumbled as he stirred the roasted grains with a curious finger. "No one dares, just in case it's considered insulting - or an attempted poisoning. Don't ask me what they _expect_ us to eat."

"Too bad," Jack mumbled around a mouthful of flatbread. He swallowed and eyed Daniel's offering. "The leaves are edible?"

"It's the local version of _dolmodes_ ," Daniel said patiently. "Very popular in Greece, as well as other Mediterranean cultures."

"I know what stuffed grape leaves are, Daniel," Jack retorted. "But those aren't _grape_ leaves. Are you _sure_ they're okay?"

"Yes, Jack."

"I find them to be adequate," Teal'c announced blandly, even as he snagged a third helping.

Daniel picked up one of the flatbreads and examined it. "Very finely ground," he muttered. "If this was done by hand, it was intended for a special occasion." He looked up at Teal'c. "You say you got this from the local Jaffa?"

"Indeed I did."

"No rivalry, then?"

"Not here, Daniel Jackson. It is true that a meeting with these same Jaffa on a different planet would most likely lead to bloodshed. Here on Thoth's homeworld, however, all Jaffa are neutral." Teal'c paused, then added, "Unless, of course, someone offers violence. I believe it has happened twice in the last six decades."

"What happened?" asked Sam, who was deftly peeling one of the purplish apples. 

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "The Goa'uld and Jaffa in question were slaughtered by every other warrior in sight. No one wishes to lose the advantages of Thoth's neutrality and the services he offers."

Jack looked thoughtful. "So, if we were to kinda sorta start some trouble and blame the other guy...?"

"Not wise," Selmac said flatly. "It would draw attention to us."

"And that's the last thing we can afford. I know," Jack sighed, nibbling at one of Daniel's _dolmodes_. "It was just an idea."

As they ate, they reviewed the events of the day. Jacob and Daniel had headed for the language workshops, where Selmac had hoped that Daniel's acumen could pick up some watercooler Goa'uld gossip. Daniel had been quite excited to discover that out of fourteen different distinct scripts, only two of them were unrecognizable as being evolved from Earth. Sam couldn't decide if he was pleased at how many he could identify, or happy to find two completely new languages.

"I was worried that Daniel was going to come across as _too_ knowledgeable," Jacob admitted at one point, "but he did an excellent job of mangling the spoken languages. The scholars here accepted him as a sort of prodigy without being overly suspicious. In fact, a few of the more senior teachers seem to have adopted him in their efforts to train him properly, and we were able to pick up some decent intel we might have otherwise missed." He gave Daniel a nod of approval.

"That must've been hard," Sam said, looking at Daniel with sympathy. "For you to act like you can't speak a language..."

"Ummm." Daniel shifted a little uneasily in his chair. "I wasn't, uh, exactly pretending."

"What do you mean?"

Daniel's attention was suddenly very focused on the handful of grains he'd been snacking. "You can't expect the spoken language not to _drift_ ," he said defensively. "The written languages, at least, tend to follow the same rules. It doesn't matter if I'm not pronouncing it the same way they are."

"Like how Sha're taught you how to speak Abydon," Jack suggested blandly.

"Um. Yes."

"Only without the _vibes_ ," Jack added, one corner on his mouth curling into a smirk. "At least, I hope not - how old were these senior teachers, exactly? And how many of them were female?"

Selmac overrode Jacob, his expression one of surprise. "Doctor Jackson, are you saying that you really cannot speak those languages?" 

"I can speak the Earth versions!" Daniel glared at Jack, whose expression was speaking volumes. "And the more I hear the people here speaking, the more I can correct my pronounci - shut _up_ , Jack!"

"I didn't say anything," Jack protested, blinking innocently.

"You were _looking_ it!"

"O'Neill." Teal'c's voice easily overrode the squabbling. "Perhaps you could tell General Carter about the new technology you saw today."

Daniel shot Teal'c a grateful look as Jack rolled his eyes one last time before allowing the topic of conversation to shift. During the course of the day, Teal'c had served as Jaffa supervisor for his master's "slaves" as they studied some of the newer technologies that Thoth was peddling to his customers. The military applications had left Jack uneasy and intrigued in turns; Sam had simply been itching for the opportunity to do a little up-and-close examination, with an eye for possibly doing a little back-engineering of her own.

"They wouldn't let me actually handle the equipment, though," she said moodily, slicing her apple with a little too much emphasis. "The supervisor was perfectly happy to demonstrate, but I couldn't get close enough to touch anything." She hesitated. "Actually, I was afraid to get too close, even if he had been willing to let me handle anything. I think the supervisor was actually a Jaffa. I was worried that he might sense the protein marker." Her expression grew pinched at the reminder of just how different she'd really become.

"Sefik was indeed a Jaffa, Captain Carter," Teal'c said gravely. "That is why I made sure to remain close to you at all times. If he did sense anything, he would have assumed it was my symbiote."

"Maybe I should go with you tomorrow," Jacob suggested. "We can go back there and take a closer look. He might have been reluctant to allow a mere, ah, 'slave' to test his new products, but I'd be a serious customer. You can stick close to me. Between what you've picked up over the last couple of years and Selmac's knowledge, we ought to get a clear idea of what's involved."

"I'm supposed to show up tomorrow for that lecture on Ancient Greek," Daniel protested, pointing to his _dolmodes_ as proof. Then he amended conscientiously, "Well, on 'Artolisos.' But it's essentially Ancient Greek, only with several thousand years of linguistic drift."

"I can accompany Daniel Jackson tomorrow," Teal'c offered.

"I'll come, too," Jack announced, a little too enthusiastically for Daniel's taste. 

"I am _not_ going to provide you with fodder for whatever you're thinking about, Jack, so you can -"

"I'd rather you came with us, sir," Sam said diplomatically. "Dad's going to have to keep up the arrogant and aloof act, but the two of us would be able to actually discuss things. I'm not sure why you insisted that the cloaking device was more important than the improved shielding..." 

"Ah, ah, ah! Save it, Carter!" Jack waggled a stern finger, the effect slightly spoiled by the smear of sauce from his _dolmodes_. "I'll come with you tomorrow, and you can talk tech at me as much as you want when the time comes, okay?"

"Yes, sir," Sam said politely, swallowing her grin at the fervent " _Thank you!_ " that Daniel mouthed behind Jack's back.

They kept watches that night, but no one disturbed them. In the morning, they agreed upon a time to meet for lunch, then separated to follow the day's agenda. Once again, the hours passed quietly and productively, but Jack couldn't shake the feeling that they were due to have a _spectacular_ disaster at any moment.

It was strange for Sam to watch her father playing Goa'uld; she wasn't used to seeing Selmac doing all the talking. She knew, of course, that it was necessary to keep up the charade, but it made her feel uneasy. She was also a little chagrined to see that Selmac was in emphatic agreement with the colonel: the cloaking device, powerful enough to hide an entire scoutship from view, was more urgent than the improved personal shields.

"Forget throwing knives through these," she hissed at one point. "If Thoth keeps improving the personal shields, anything larger than air molecules won't get through. Why don't you think that we need to get hold of one of these, so we can figure out how to breach them?"

"It's a matter of Tok'ra protocol," the colonel explained to her quietly. "They work by quiet infiltration. One-on-one assassination isn't part of their regular methods, but the ability to scout enemy movement without detection would be invaluable. And think about it - how often do we _really_ get the chance to get up close and personal with a snakehead?" He paused, then added thoughtfully, "Without dying or getting our brains fried, anyway."

Sam reluctantly accepted her CO's tactical reasoning and lost herself in the pleasure of hands-on study of the cloaking device, including a good look at the schematics. Much of it was beyond her rudimentary knowledge of written Goa'uld, but Daniel had been coaching her on some of the more common technical terms, and she was able to at least partially comprehend the power flows and some of the algorithims. 

The more she examined the device, the more she realized that the colonel had been right. She wished there had been some way for them to smuggle a video recorder onto the planet, so that they could translate it at their leisure and try to understand how it worked. But she understood enough to know that they couldn't just walk away from this.

Stepping closer to her father, she whispered, "I think it's shopping time. Do we have enough money to actually buy this?"

Selmac gave an imperceptible nod of the head. "This is of interest," he announced haughtily in a loud voice. He waved a languid hand in the supervisor's direction. "Arrange a private session for me this afternoon. I wish to examine it further before advising Heru'ur about its purchase."

"Very well, lord," Sefik murmured. "Would the second bell past noon be convenient?"

"Good enough." Selmac allowed his cloak to dramatically unfurl as he turned on his heel. "Come!" he said imperiously to Sam and Jack, and marched out of the chamber. Sam scrambled after her father, biting her lip to keep from grinning at her colonel's _sotto voce_ mutters of indignation.

"Spreading it a bit thick there, weren't you, Selmac?" Jack asked pointedly once they'd arrived in the safety of their rooms.

"Not hardly," Jacob answered, snorting a little. "Trust me on this one, Jack. You _can't_ act too arrogant when you're pretending to be a Goa'uld."

"How much are we going to be able to learn from a private session?" Sam asked.

"Not enough, I'm afraid." Jacob paced slowly around the room. "This new cloaking device is a real leap in current technology. The cloaks in use today eat up huge amounts of power and can only be used sporadically. Even when they are in use, there's enough leakage that a cloaked ship can be detected by intense scanning. But this one?" He shook his head. "As long as the ship isn't ringing anyone on board or actually firing weapons, it could stay cloaked almost indefinitely. We _need_ to get this one."

"Shoplifting is out, I suppose," Jack mused. "Instead of using the stolen credit card, I mean."

"No one has 'shoplifted' successfully here for nearly six hundred years," Selmac said. "And that last theft resulted in a war that lasted for four years and left millions dead." He blinked, and Jacob added, "We'll all go back together this afternoon. Maybe Teal'c or Daniel can come up with an alternative solution. But it looks like we're going to have to use that credit crystal after all."

"So maybe we could help a little," Jack suggested, his tone carrying multiple meanings.

Jacob stopped pacing and frowned. "I don't think the SGC has that much money to spare, Jack."

"Let me phrase that another way." Jack straightened a little, and he was suddenly Colonel Jack O'Neill, SG-1, addressing an ally. "If the Tok'ra end up getting this technology on a joint mission with the SGC, are you planning on sharing it with Earth?"

Jacob opened his mouth to reply, then closed it. After a long moment, his eyes flashed and Selmac took over. "It's not quite as simple as that," he said, his voice sounding sincere. "If this does become an official purchase, the decision won't be mine; it will be up to the Tok'ra Council. And frankly, I don't know how the Tau'ri could use this technology. Samantha can vouch for me on this -" and he nodded at his host's daughter, "- this isn't something that your scientists can backwards-engineer to adapt to your own technology. It interfaces directly with Goa'uld crystals and builds upon their actual structure."

"That's true, sir," Sam admitted quietly. "Unless Earth suddenly switches to crystal technology, we won't be able to use it."

"We've been studying Goa'uld technology," Jack said, not willing to give up quite yet. "The spooks out at Area 51 have been studying those two damaged death gliders for over a year now. They might get them working again eventually. Maybe we could use this cloaking technology after all."

Selmac looked puzzled. "Which death gliders?"

"We recovered them from - oh, never mind. They're nowhere near flight ready, anyway." Jack waved it away. "My _point_ is that we might not have anything that would work with this cloaking device now, but we might have in the future. So I ask again: will the Tok'ra share it with us if we ask?"

Selmac looked rueful. "My personal opinion doesn't really matter here. For what it's worth, I do think that we ought to be sharing information more openly. After all, we've managed to accomplish a great deal by working together. But I cannot speak for the Council, nor make policy on their behalf."

He blinked, then added in Jacob's regular voice, "Selmac has been making noises at the Council about a formal treaty between the Tok'ra and the Tau'ri. Remind me to mention it to George. Maybe some pushing from both sides would make it happen a little earlier."

"Fair enough," Jack conceded a little reluctantly. Then Teal'c and Daniel breezed into the room, Daniel's arms filled to overflowing with scrolls and his mouth going a mile a minute, and it was time to discuss tactics for the upcoming afternoon session. The decision to use the credit crystal changed their mission from one of quiet stealth to a more urgent, beat-the-clock scenario.

In the end, they all trooped back for their private demonstration and arrived at the conclusion they'd expected: if the Tok'ra wanted to get their hands on the new cloaking device, they were going to have to pay for it. Daniel and Sam still had their heads together over the schematic display, exchanging murmured half-phrases of translations and scientific terms, but Jacob gave Teal'c and Jack a meaningful glance of warning before turning to Sefik.

"My master Heru'ur will be interested in this prototype," Selmac announced. "See that it is prepared for transport and delivered to my rooms by tonight." He snapped his fingers in Jack's direction. Jack hid his grimace behind carefully blank features and stepped forward, presenting the credit crystal to Sefik just as Jacob had coached him.

Sefik hesitated, then took the crystal with careful fingers. He turned it over in his hands, then ran it through the gold scanner set on a pedestal near the doorway. Jack watched him warily, eyes narrowed in an effort to detect the slightest hint that the credit crystal had been reported stolen or false. But Sefik was apparently satisfied. He handed the crystal back to Jack, then bowed deeply in Selmac's direction.

"Forgive me, lord," he said deferentially, "but I am not qualified to complete this purchase on my own. Lord Thoth himself must verify the exchange."

The blonde and brown heads over the system display turned simultaneously, even as Teal'c stepped forward and Jack moved sideways to watch Selmac's back. The sudden tension in the room left Sefik swallowing nervously.

"Surely, Jaffa, you do not imply that my lord's credit is not of the highest quality!" Selmac snapped.

Jack was very conscious of the carefully-sharpened shiv that he'd tucked, against Jacob's strident warnings, into his left boot. He could take down Sefik, if he had to - but what would happen after that? 

"I mean only that Lord Thoth himself has instructed me that he must verify the exchange of this newest advancement." Sefik's voice was not quite steady. "Forgive me, lord, but I must obey Lord Thoth's commands."

A strange look crossed Selmac's face - one that Sam recognized as a clear sign of rapid internal debate between her father and his symbiote. After a long moment, Selmac gave a grudging nod. "Very well, then. Verify it. And be quick. Must I wait here?"

"Of course not, lord." Sefik was eager to placate now. "You and your entourage may return to your rooms. Or you may prefer to examine some of the other technologies being offered. I need only escort one of your slaves with me to Lord Thoth to present the credit crystal for my lord's examination and approval."

Jack, Teal'c, Sam, and Daniel looked at one another. Silent communication passed rapidly between them, aided only by minute hand gestures - a few regulation Air Force ones, a few unique to SG-1, and at least two that were obscene. Teal'c's ability to contribute to the discussion was slightly hampered by the closed helmet that would not allow his eyebrow to punctuate his statements, but he made himself clear enough.

_Has to be Daniel. Selmac said he's the only one the System Lords won't recognize._  
  
_Thoth isn't a System Lord._  
  
_Thoth knows everything going on around the galaxy. Too dangerous. Might even know about Daniel's haircut!_  
  
_Jacob can't go. Would look too out-of-place._  
  
_Has to be Daniel._  
  
_Not alone._  
  
_With Teal'c._

Daniel stepped forward quickly, knowing that Jacob hadn't absorbed more than a fraction of their silent discussion. "May I be honored with the task, my master?" he murmured deferentially.

Selmac's eyes narrowed. "Very well," he said. "Jaffa! _Kree!_ Accompany my servant."

"Yes, my lord." Teal'c moved to Daniel's side, his staff weapon not quite at parade rest.

"If you will follow me...?" Sefik started for the door, then turned. "Forgive me, my lord. I must seal the room in my absence."

"Of course," Selmac muttered. He waved the rest of SG-1 out of the room ahead of him.

Once everyone was safely out in the large hallway, Sefik withdrew an oddly-shaped crystal from his pocket and waved it at the door. A slight humming sound rose and fell away.

"Follow me," he repeated to Teal'c and Daniel, and strode off. The cadence of their footsteps matched the ticking of the timer that had just set up house in Jack's head.

As the three of them disappeared around a corner, Jack rounded on Selmac. "Is the jig up?" he hissed, all pretense of deference gone.

"No," Jacob snapped back. "I _told_ you - the crystal was stolen, but it represents legitimate funds. Thoth knows Heru'ur is too good a customer to annoy, so he'll send Sefik back with some wrapping paper and a big ribbon. The risk only starts when the crystal is officially credited and Heru'ur's accountants take notice. Let's just wait it out, okay?"

Jack subsided a little. "You're _sure_ Daniel and Teal'c aren't in danger?" he pressed.

"Not any more than they've been until now."

"All right," Jack said, somewhat begrudgingly. "But with Sefik away, the mice can play, right? Let's go see what's behind Door Number Two." He moved towards the door to the next chamber. "If we're already legitimate customers, maybe they won't notice if -"

"Colonel!" Selmac shouted, throwing himself forward. "Don't touch...!"

Too late. The moment Jack's outstretched fingers brushed the door, the security system activated with smooth precision. Three square meters of floor suddenly canted downwards, and Sam, Jack, and Jacob found themselves plummeting out of sight.

***

Daniel and Teal'c could not speak openly to each other as they followed Sefik, and the reassurance of their swift shorthand exchanges was muted by their inability to see each other's faces properly. Daniel found himself looking away from that closed Horus helmet yet again, and silently resolved to pulverize the hated thing into sheet metal the moment they got back home.

Once they reached Thoth's court, however, Daniel's worries and concerns were overwhelmed by his awed delight at witnessing a ritual he'd only studied in ancient texts. A huge mosaic picked out the shape of an ibis behind the twin thrones. There were the scales, yes, and the feather to weigh innocence or guilt... and that was Ma'at, a dark-haired woman whose beauty was marred by her flashing eyes and the arrogance that twisted her features. _Sha're_ , he thought painfully, and his joy at seeing mythology brought to life was suddenly soured by the recognition that these weren't just other Goa'uld coming to Thoth for arbitration; these were human slaves, being judged and quite possibly executed. He swallowed hard and looked away, oddly comforted by the momentary weight of Teal'c's hand on his shoulder.

They waited quietly in their assigned alcove until Thoth signaled them forward. The almond eyes in the sharply boned face shone not only with the malevolence of the Goa'uld, but with a shrewd intelligence that made Daniel swallow dryly. He kept his steps even as he paced forward, suddenly uncomfortably aware that nearly every Jaffa in the echoing chamber wore open helmets. If Thoth instructed Teal'c to reveal his face...

Sefik bowed low before the throne and relayed the proposed transaction in a quiet murmur. Thoth stroked his chin with a languid hand and stared hard at Daniel, who wisely kept his eyes properly downcast.

"Show me the credit crystal," Thoth finally said.

Daniel fumbled the crystal out of the pocket of his robes and approached Thoth's throne. He dropped to his knees without prompting and stretched out his hands with the proffered crystal, still keeping his gaze fixed on the floor.

He felt the crystal plucked out of his hands and dared a quick glance up through his eyelashes. A slave stood next to Thoth, holding a scanner similar to the one Sefik had used back in the demonstration room. Thoth was frowning at the scanner, and Daniel closed his eyes in dread. Jacob's assurances that the theft couldn't be traced suddenly seemed very hollow.

"Very well," Thoth pronounced abruptly, and Daniel blew out his breath in a silent sigh of relief. "Send the device to Heru'ur's agent's rooms. Assure him that we will inform his master if further improvements are made in the future."

Daniel rose carefully to his feet, still watching Thoth and Ma'at from behind half-lidded eyes. The two Goa'uld seemed to have forgotten him already; Thoth had handed the credit crystal back to Sefik, and Ma'at was gesturing to the next group of supplicants. Time for a strategic and hasty retreat, while the going was still good.

Sefik seemed equally relieved as they left the chamber. "Tell your master that I will have the device delivered to his rooms before nightfall," he instructed Daniel. He turned to Teal'c. "I would prefer to begin arrangements for transport immediately. Do you require an escort back to your rooms?"

"That will not be necessary," Teal'c replied gravely. "I shall tell my master that you have offered exemplary service."

Sefik nodded, distracted, and hurried away.

Teal'c and Daniel looked at each other. "So that's it?" Daniel asked quietly. "We go back to the others now?"

"It does seem that we have accomplished our mission," Teal'c said, but his voice, slightly muffled by the helmet, sounded equally doubtful.

"I'd say it was too easy, but it never pays to say things like that," Daniel muttered. "Come on. Maybe I can still get attend another session in the languages center before it's time to go."

"Perhaps," Teal'c agreed, and the two of them retraced their steps towards their rooms.

The vague feelings of unease abruptly crystallized when Daniel and Teal'c stepped inside and found that the others weren't there. Daniel stopped in the middle of the room and turned in a slow circle, feeling his heart suddenly accelerate. "Where are they?"

Teal'c shut the door behind them and retracted his helmet. "They would not have gone elsewhere without leaving a message of some kind." 

"Right," Daniel said. He licked his lips as he watched Teal'c begin a systematic search of Jacob's opulent chamber. "I'll go check our own rooms."

It didn't take long for them to confirm that there was no message or other indication of where Jack, Sam, and Jacob might be.

"Back to the demonstration room?" Daniel suggested.

"Indeed," Teal'c nodded. He reactivated his helmet. It snapped shut with a clang. This time, as they set out again, his staff weapon was primed and ready.

***

"Tell me again - how can a Tok'ra who never lived on Earth possibly have an accurate time sense?"

Sam could almost hear her father gritting his teeth in the darkness. "Selmac isn't thinking in terms of hours and minutes, Colonel. I'm converting it for you. And I'm telling you it's been exactly two hours and sixteen minutes."

"No way. It has got to be longer than that by now."

"Two hours," Jacob repeated in a monotone. "And sixteen minutes."

"Huh." There was a slight thudding sound. The colonel was kicking the wall again, Sam concluded. "And Heru'ur could be calling Thoth any minute now to find out why he's apparently bought something he didn't know about."

"They'll find us, sir," she said staunchly, if a little mechanically by now. "Teal'c and Daniel will figure it out." And if the darkness and the clammy feeling of the room was reminding her a little too much of the tunnels underneath Seth's fortress, that was no one's business but her own.

"Oh, I know, I know. The door will open up and Daniel will be blinking at us, and Teal'c will just _have_ to quote Luke Skywalker at us." A pause, then, "And he's certainly tall enough to be a stormtrooper."

 _If he tries to cast me as Princess Leia..._ "Yes, sir," she sighed.

Silence. For less than a minute.

"So, how long...?"

"About forty-five seconds longer than the last time you asked, Jack!"

Sam closed her eyes and refined the equations in her head. Patricide versus murder of her superior officer... Which one would be worse for her career?

_"...shut up, Jack!"_

She could always try both.

***

"Thoth is the master of magic," Daniel muttered. "And we seem to have people disappearing."

Teal'c and Daniel stood in the empty hallway outside the demonstration rooms. There was no sign of Sefik, but he was probably still occupied with preparing their cloaking device for transport. Daniel was very conscious of the seconds trickling away from them. They had to find the others and get off Thoth's planet before the theft of the credit crystal was discovered.

"Daniel Jackson." Teal'c pointed at the wall. "Look here."

Daniel peered at the sigils carved into the wall and groaned. "A security warning. In Goa'uld. Anyone trying to break into the rooms will 'vanish by Thoth's mighty hand.' Oh, that's just _great_."

"Do you believe, then, that O'Neill, Captain Carter, and Selmac attempted to enter one of the locked rooms?"

Daniel read the inscription again and grimaced. "It looks like even _touching_ one of the doors is enough to trigger the security system." He looked at Teal'c, who had taken advantage of the empty hallways to open his helmet again.

"Jack," sighed Daniel.

"O'Neill," concluded Teal'c at the same time.

"Okay, so they're... stuck somewhere. I hope." Daniel licked his lips. "Thoth. Magic. Disappearing act, which usually means a hidden room somewhere, which means... which means we're going to have to find out where." He hunched his shoulders. "Oh, this is not going to be fun."

"What do you intend, Daniel Jackson?"

"We're going to have to report this, Teal'c, in order to get the others released. It'll take more time than we have if we try to poke around ourselves. And even if there's some way we can get them out, we need a starting point... and right now, we don't have one."

"Will that not draw too much attention to ourselves?"

"We can't just _leave_ them there." Daniel considered. "Tempting as that might be, at the moment," he added sourly. Because an idea was crystallizing in his mind. He knew it was probably the least dangerous plan under the circumstances, but he also knew what he was probably going to have to end up doing in order to make it happen.

"Jack is really going to owe me for this. Big time," he muttered. He unconsciously gripped the sash of his robes. "All right. Let's go and do this." He looked at Teal'c. "Teal'c... just follow my lead, okay? Trust me."

"Always," Teal'c said without hesitation.

Daniel's mouth quirked into a smile. "Thank you, Teal'c," he said gently. "Do you know the way to Sefik's - ah, office?"

"I do."

"Then let's go."

The next forty minutes were every bit as uncomfortable as Daniel had dreaded. He had to talk his way through Sefik's brute squad first, and when they'd separated him from Teal'c, it had taken every ounce of courage he possessed to give Teal'c the quiet signal to let him go. When they'd finally shoved him into Sefik's office, the sight of Teal'c waiting there, solid and strong as ever, left him trembling with reaction and relief.

Sefik, as resentful about dealing with humans as Selmac had warned them back at the SGC, had no patience for Daniel's story about losing his fellow humans and not being able to find his Goa'uld master.

"The warnings are posted clearly on the wall." Sefik sneered at Daniel from his considerable height.

"Yes, my lord," Daniel gabbled, "but please, my lord, it is my task to read the holy writings of our masters, and I fear that my errors might have caused my master's other slaves to go astray."

He hated this, _hated_ this, but thank goodness Teal'c was back in the room now, a looming beacon of safety and reassurance. 

"Idiot slave!" Sefik spat. He glared across the room at Teal'c. "Is this the kind of service your master gets from his humans?"

"They are here to be trained," Teal'c said, his voice muffled by the helmet. "They cannot be trained, however, if they cannot be found."

Sefik prodded Daniel with a contemptuous foot. "Let this one go and tell his master that he has misplaced the other slaves. He will surely punish them as they deserve."

Teal'c strode forward. He reached down and grabbed Daniel by the arm, hauling him rather painfully to his feet.

"Perhaps," he suggested in a tone that invited winks and nudges, "we should allow the human to try and fail to find the others first. That would give even more weight to his punishment, when my master discovers his ineptitude."

Sefik's eyes gleamed at this show of solidarity. "Hah, yes!" He reached out and poked Daniel roughly in the chest. "You are supposed to be learning here, slave? Then go follow my Lord Thoth's tales and find your fellow humans!"

"Y-yes, my lord," gasped Daniel, cringing for all he was worth. "Where do I find the beginning of Lord Thoth's tales?"

"I should make you search for it on your own." Sefik gave Daniel another shove. "But that only means I would likely have you back here again." He looked at Teal'c. "Take this pathetic human to the first sublevel entrance to the catacombs, and see if he has been paying attention to his lessons." He turned back to Daniel, and this time Daniel wasn't acting when he shrank back from the anticipatory gleam in the Jaffa's eyes. "And come visit us in the barracks tonight, if you are still here. I would enjoy hearing the tale of this one's punishment."

"I shall," Teal'c rumbled. He tightened his grip on Daniel's arm and hauled him backwards. "Come, human! Let us see how badly you fail."

He hustled Daniel out of Sefik's command room and around the corner of the hall. Once out of sight, he immediately dropped his painful grip on Daniel's arm and took a step back.

"I am sorry, Daniel Jackson," he said quietly.

"No, no, don't be sorry." Daniel rolled his shoulders back, trying to settle himself. "It wasn't fun, but it got the job done, right? And you picked up your cues just beautifully." He offered Teal'c a rueful smile. "That time in the barracks proved useful, I guess."

"I did not enjoy it."

"I know you didn't. It's okay." The smile twisted a little. "I didn't enjoy it, either."

"Did you learn enough from Sefik to accomplish our task?" Teal'c began guiding Daniel towards the entrance to the catacombs, as Sefik had instructed.

"I think so." With a final twitch to his sash, Daniel focused his mind on the upcoming effort to release the others. "I'm guessing that 'Thoth's tales' refers to the mythology surrounding Thoth and Ma'at, probably displayed as reliefs or carvings on the walls. Hopefully, there will be enough clues to lead us to wherever the others are being held and to get them out."

***

"Six hours, now."

"I know."

"I'm sure they're okay. It's just... taking a while."

"Right, Carter."

Silence.

"Dad, do you think Heru'ur knows about the crystal credit transfer by now?"

"It's possible, Sam."

Silence.

"Anyone have anything to eat?"

"Sorry, sir."

"...I'm sorry too, Jack."

"Nah," Jack said. "We agreed to this. No blame to anyone but the sorry snakeheads who got us into this mess."

"Thank you."

"But when we get back to the SGC," Jack added, "you are _so_ going to have to make up for this."

Silence.

***

"And twist _that_. Right. Okay, fingers in the depression - _there_ \- and let's see, now - okay. The ibis. Yeah."

Teal'c shifted his staff weapon under his arm and glanced at Daniel, who had both hands fully occupied. The fingers of his right hand were pressing hard against specific glyphs on the wall, while his left palm rested against a softly glowing crystal six inches above his head. 

"I do not understand how Thoth expected a single person to solve this puzzle," he observed.

"I don't think a single person is supposed to be able to do this, Teal'c," Daniel said tiredly. " _Forty-two_ books of Thoth, or _four_ and _two_ \- two people working, using four hands."

"I see." Teal'c stooped to touch the ibis carved out of the wall a few inches above the floor. "What should I do now, Daniel Jackson?"

"Pull it outward," Daniel directed.

Teal'c grasped the edges of the carved relief, digging his fingers into the indentations around the edges, and pulled hard.

For a long, agonizing moment, it seemed as if nothing was going to happen. Then the dark hallway was suddenly filled with dancing motes of dust as the opposite wall rumbled upwards, revealing nothing but darkness beyond. The sudden exclamations from inside, however, made it clear that they'd finally achieved their goal.

"Everyone out," Daniel ordered breathlessly, twisting his head to peer over his shoulder. "The second Teal'c or I let go, that door is going to slam back into place."

Sam, Jack, and Jacob wasted no time in scrambling out of their prison. The moment they were clear, Daniel sagged back against the wall, dropping his hands wearily to his sides. Teal'c rose serenely to his feet as the opposite wall thundered shut again, resetting the trap for the next unwary visitor.

"Nice work," Jacob complimented Teal'c and Daniel. "Is everything all right? Is our cover blown?"

"Yes, it is. And no, it's not," grumbled Daniel. "At least, not yet. I hope. The cloaking device should be waiting in our rooms, so can we all leave _right now_?"

Sam, still blinking in the dim light, moved closer to Daniel and peered at him closely. "Daniel, are you all right?"

"I'm fine," he snapped. Belatedly, he tried to smooth his tousled hair. It was amazing how messy it looked, considering how short it was now.

"Daniel?" Jack singsonged. He gripped Daniel's shoulder, unmasked concern showing in his eyes. "What happened?"

"Nothing." Daniel wrenched away and stalked down the hall. "We're all together again, we've got the device, we've picked up lots of good intel. And we're leaving. _Now._ "

Jacob frowned and went after him. Sam and Jack looked at each other, then pounced on Teal'c. "What happened to him?" Jack demanded.

Teal'c very slowly raised one eyebrow, then closed his helmet. Point made.

Sam backed away after that, figuring she could quietly get it out of Daniel over coffee, or possibly chocolate, back at the SGC. Jack, however, was used to ignoring "keep out" signals, particularly Daniel's. He allowed them five minutes of silent walking before trying again.

"C'mon, Daniel. Something's got you all upset. What's going on?"

Daniel stopped for a moment and glared. "I just pulled you all out of a very tight spot, Jack. You can show me some gratitude by shutting up, all right? And so help me, you're going to be on coffee duty for the next six weeks to make up for this!" He turned and stomped on.

Jack's Daniel radar was pinging loudly. He could see Daniel wasn't physically hurt, and anything else... Well, they could fix it later, once they were safely back on Earth. But that didn't mean a little extra pushing wouldn't work right now.

"So you're not hurt?" he prodded.

"I'm _not_!"

"Just really, really mad."

_"Yes!"_

"Why?"

It was a good thing that they'd actually reached their rooms by that point, because Daniel finally erupted. "We had to go and report to Sefik that we'd lost you, okay? Only we couldn't mention Jacob, because a _Goa'uld_ getting lost would have been way too suspicious! So we could only laugh about the silly _slaves_ , ha ha, who seem to have gotten lost somewhere, and does anyone have any idea where we can find them? And they figured that you'd probably triggered the security trap, and I had to jump through the most ridiculous hoops just to get the key to _get you out_!"

"Daniel Jackson needed to follow a series of reliefs that praised Thoth and Ma'at," Teal'c remarked to the room at large. "An accurate knowledge of the mythology proved essential."

Sam had managed to get a soothing hand on Daniel's ramrod back, and was rubbing his tense muscles in gentle circles. "I'm really glad you were able to get us out of there, Daniel," she murmured in his ear. "If Dad and the colonel hadn't killed each other soon, I would have probably killed them both."

Daniel snorted a reluctant laugh, and went to help Jacob retrieve the precious cloaking device for departure.

"Okay," Jack said to himself, scrubbing a hand through his hair. "Daniel doesn't care about having to follow a mythological puzzle, so I'm guessing it was the hoops he was talking about...?" His voice trailed off, and he suddenly fixed his gaze on Daniel's still messy hair and rumpled robes. "Oh." Their pre-mission dressing session suddenly sprang into vivid significance. "Oh, _no_."

Teal'c, who had gathered Daniel's scrolls and notes together, inclined his head. "Indeed, O'Neill."

Jack winced, and wrapped his own robes a little more tightly around himself. "Six weeks of coffee _and_ chocolate, I think. The good stuff."

Sam and Daniel had already left the room, carrying the device between them. Jacob, about to follow them, paused and turned.

He dipped his head, and his eyes flashed white even as Selmac favored them with a quirky grin. "Not just coffee and chocolate, Colonel," he advised. "Try teaching him the epithets I taught you. I think Doctor Jackson might appreciate the opportunity to try some of them right now."

Jack chuckled despite himself as he followed the others out into the hallway and headed for the Stargate. "Coffee, chocolate, and new swear words," he mused aloud. "Yeah. That should suit Daniel just fine."

As they hurried along as quickly as they dared, Jack found himself tensing. Too many hours had passed since Thoth had initiated the credit transfer. Heru'ur surely knew about it by now. If the alarm went up before they made it off-world...

They had just entered the atrium when the loudspeaker system activated. A booming voice rattled out a series of instructions, and the Jaffa scattered throughout the huge room were suddenly at full alert, staff weapons primed and ready. One group headed toward the exits, clearly planning to block them; a second group made their way directly to the DHD on its golden dais shoving several startled officials out of their way.

"That's it," Jacob muttered. 

"What did they say?" Jack demanded, turning to Daniel.

Daniel's hands slowly closed into fists. "Lockdown," he said shortly. "ID check. Heru'ur must've called up to complain."

They backed against the wall for the pathetic cover it offered them. Jacob slipped his right hand into the pocket of his elaborate costume and pulled out his ribbon device. He began fitting his fingers into the caps, one by one.

"We can't shoot our way out of this!" Jack hissed at him furiously.

"I will not just surrender," Selmac spat back, his eyes glowing white with intensity.

Sam and Daniel still held the device between them. Teal'c eased in front of them, ready to defend them with his last breath.

"Wait a minute," Jack said suddenly. He was staring fixedly at the cloaking device. "Carter. Does that thing have batteries?"

Sam looked at him, startled, then glanced down at the cloaking device. "It's actually powered by naquadah, but - yes, sir," she amended hurriedly, seeing his expression. "Batteries included in purchase."

"What do you intend?" Teal'c asked over his shoulder. He was keeping a wary eye on Thoth's Jaffa, who were moving from one group of travelers to the next in their search for SG-1.

"You said it has to be tied into Goa'uld crystals to work," Jack pressed. "Would the ribbon device be enough?"

"Enough to what?" Selmac demanded.

"Enough to shield _us_ ," Daniel breathed. "Jack, that is so stupid that it's _brilliant_."

"Why, thank you, Daniel." Jack grabbed Jacob by the right wrist and shoved his ribbon-encased hand in Sam's direction. "See if you can power it up, Carter. And work _fast_."

"Yes, sir!" Sam blurted. 

Daniel helped her set the cloaking device on the ground. Even as Jacob yanked the ribbon device off his hand, Sam opened the panel on the side of the device, praying that she remembered the schematics properly. If she spliced a power source to the wrong coupling, they'd be lucky if it only blew up in their faces.

"Hurry," Teal'c urged. "Thoth's Jaffa have worked their way nearly to our position."

"Hold... on... I'm nearly - _there!_ " Sam shoved the crystal into place, then slammed the panel shut. She looked up. "It's now or never."

"Do it!" snapped Jacob and Jack at once.

Sam activated the device.

Seconds later, Thoth's Jaffa stomped right past them, as if they weren't there.

"Yes!" cheered Jack in a whisper, pumping his fist in victory. "Good work, Captain!"

"Shut up," Jacob ordered, his own voice barely audible. "Sound still travels."

"We're safe for now," Daniel murmured, "but we still need to get off-world."

"And this is only a makeshift job at best," Sam added softly. "I have no idea how long it's going to last."

"So we move. Now."

"We will require a diversion, O'Neill," Teal'c said calmly. "The warriors that guard the DHD will not abandon their posts lightly."

Jack's eyes lit up as he recalled their conversation the night before. "You said that if anyone starts up a fight here, everyone else piles onto him, right?"

Teal'c blinked, and then actually _grinned_. The effect was downright scary. "Indeed I did." He primed his staff weapon and aimed with precision, so that the ensuing blast seemed to come directly from the Jaffa standing a few meters away. One of the pillars near the DHD exploded, sending hot fragments showering over the startled guards. With a howl of fury, half the guards charged in the direction of the apparently guilty Jaffa, who was staring at his own staff weapon in bewilderment.

"Put some distance between us and the action," Jack instructed. "Carter, Daniel, take the device _carefully_. Don't jostle it and accidentally turn it off."

"We'll try not to, sir," Sam said, a slight barb in her voice. She and Daniel hoisted the cloaking device between them.

"Okay. Teal'c, you're on point. Get us to the DHD. Jacob, dial us up some place where there are no innocents to get hurt. I've got our six."

It was a little like playing an insane game of blind man's buff. The entire atrium had erupted into chaos, as the imposed neutrality of Thoth's planet vanished into a freewheeling scuffle between rival Jaffa, Thoth's guards, and frantic slaves. Constrained by the need to remain within the cloak's radius, they dodged their way through the melee, occasionally helping it along by tripping or shoving people who ventured too close.

Finally, they reached the DHD. Teal'c casually clubbed the one remaining guard into unconsciousness, then reached behind him to drag Jacob into position. "We must hurry," he said. "As soon as the Stargate activates, every person in this room will focus either on preventing escape or attempting to flee themselves."

"Let's get a move on, people," yelled Jack as he hustled his scientists onto the platform. The noise levels had reached epic proportions by now, and there was no point in trying to keep quiet. "Jacob, tell Selmac to think of a safe planet and dial us out _now_!"

Jacob was already slapping at the symbols, but Teal'c was right. As the chevrons began to light up, too many heads were turning in the direction of the Stargate and DHD.

"When the wormhole forms, forget the cloak and _run_ ," Jacob said urgently, even as he reached for the sixth symbol. "Sam, Daniel, just get through the Stargate. Keep your heads down."

"We can't leave it behind, after all this!" Sam protested, even as she started to hand it to Teal'c.

"We won't leave it behind! Selmac has enough strength to carry it _and_ to run!" Jacob's hand slammed down on the central crystal. _"Go!"_

The wormhole billowed outward. Sam and Daniel were running even before it subsided.

Weapon blasts were aimed at the Stargate now, and Jack swallowed his stomach back down when he saw Sam and Daniel dive headfirst into the event horizon. Then Teal'c was grabbing his arm, and Jacob was running full tilt ahead of them, and they were ducking their heads as bolts of fire singed Jack's hair and they were leaping...

Cold and irrationality and the warped light of billions of stars...

And Jack found himself sprawled on a rocky patch of ground underneath a yellow sun.

The wormhole behind them winked out.

"Everyone in one piece?" Jack wheezed.

"I'm good, Jack."

"All right, sir."

"I am fine, O'Neill."

"Nice work," Jacob complimented them all. "But let's move to a different planet, just in case someone got the address off the DHD. Come on."

He tucked the cloaking device a little more securely under his arm, then trotted over to the DHD and started punching symbols again.

"So, where are we going?" Jack asked as he rose to his feet and dusted himself off. "Back to Tok'ra World?"

"I'm taking us to a neutral planet," Jacob said as he dialed. "We can both Gate home from there."

"And the cloaking device...?" Jack prodded.

Jacob's head dipped for a moment. "Colonel, I will do my best to encourage the Council to share this information with the Tau'ri," Selmac promised. "And certainly, we will share any intelligence that we are able to procure thanks to this new cloak."

"Right." Jack rolled his eyes. "I won't hold my breath."

Selmac's eyes flashed, and Jacob gave Jack a sympathetic look. "I'll see what I can do, Jack."

The Stargate _kawhooshed,_ and the group went through. Jacob's neutral planet was a little too wet for Jack's tastes, as they seemed to have Gated into a thunderstorm.

"Go ahead," Jacob urged them, ignoring the rain spattering on his clothing. "Head on home. I'll catch the next wormhole out." He eyed the cannibalized ribbon device, still spliced into the cloak. "You can make it back via the Alpha Site, right?"

"It'll be fine, Dad, don't worry." Sam stepped close to her father and claimed a hug. "It was fun, wasn't it?"

"It was." Jacob smiled at her. "Hopefully, it won't be too long before we have the chance to work together again."

"Home," Daniel murmured plaintively. "No more contact lenses. Coffee."

"Underwear," Jack added cheerfully, then winced at the glare Daniel sent his way. Oops. He hastily stepped over to Jacob. "Keep us posted... Dad."

Jacob snorted at him, then turned to shake hands with Daniel and exchange respectful nods with Teal'c.

SG-1 stepped to the DHD, and Daniel started to dial. "So that's it," grumbled Jack. "We get dumped in a hole and... searched and shot at, but the Tok'ra go home with all the goodies."

"Er. Not exactly, sir," admitted Sam.

Jack raised his eyebrows at her. "Not exactly?"

"Well..." Sam shuffled her feet a little, but the gleam in her eyes suggested something other than embarrassment. "I _might_ have picked up an item or two when we were on our way out. Sir."

"And I sort of forgot to return those scrolls the teachers loaned me," Daniel added casually as he pushed the fourth symbol. "They got packed up with the rest of our things. It'll make it a lot easier on our teams to have the proper syntax the next time we encounter one of these languages off-world."

Jack rocked back on his heels, grinning. "Excellent!" He turned to Teal'c. "How about you, T?"

Teal'c slanted a glance at him, then looked back at the Stargate. "I procured the recipe for Daniel Jackson's _dolmodes_ ," he conceded. "I believe you would call it an appropriate souvenir."

Jack swept his team with a fond look. Some Goa'uld doohickeys, decent intel, and lunch. What more did they need?

"That's my kids," he beamed. "Remind me to _always_ take you with me when I'm shopping!"

end.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thanks to randomfreshink for the superlative beta.


End file.
